3 Relationship Poison Phrases to Avoid: Preventing Hurt and Nurturing Love
3 Phrases That Can Harm Your Relationship (and What to Avoid)
Arguments with a partner can stir up intense emotions, but certain phrases—even if well-intentioned—can erode trust and invalidate feelings. Psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein identifies three toxic phrases to avoid during conflicts:
Dismissive remarks during arguments can damage trust. (Stock image)
1. “You’re overreacting”
2. “It’s no big deal”
3. “You’re too sensitive”
These phrases, often used to defuse tension, can make your partner feel judged or unheard. Dr. Bernstein warns that repeated dismissiveness can doom relationships. For example, he recalls a couple, Lisa and Aaron, whose marriage collapsed after Aaron habitually dismissed Lisa’s concerns as “crazy.”
The Danger of Scorekeeping and Stonewalling
Beyond hurtful words, unhealthy habits like “keeping score” (tracking who apologized last or initiated intimacy) can breed resentment. Similarly, stonewalling—shutting down communication—signals emotional withdrawal and harms connection.
Tracking past grievances fuels power struggles. (Stock image)
Dr. Bernstein emphasizes that relationships thrive with mindful nurturing. Replace dismissiveness with active listening, and prioritize empathy over defensiveness.
Another Toxic Comparison to Avoid
Psychologist Dr. Mark Travers highlights another damaging phrase: “Why can’t you be more like [someone else]?” Comparisons to ex-partners, friends, or past versions of your partner create insecurity and resentment. This “death-by-comparison” effect often signals deeper relationship issues.
Final Tips
- Validate your partner’s feelings (“I understand this matters to you”).
- Address issues calmly without blame.
- Focus on resolution, not “winning” the argument.
By avoiding these pitfalls, couples can foster trust and ensure smoother emotional sailing.
Healthy communication strengthens bonds. (Stock image)
Dr. Bernstein’s book, “Why Can’t You Read My Mind?”, offers further advice on overcoming toxic relationship patterns.
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