Research Shows Emotional Connection, Not Orgasm, Is What People Value Most in Sex
What People Really Love About Sex (Hint: It’s Not Orgasm)
[Image: Couple holding hands, symbolizing intimacy]
A groundbreaking study from Indiana University Bloomington challenges assumptions about sexual pleasure, revealing that emotional connection trumps physical climax. Surveying over 4,000 adults aged 18–91, researchers identified 22 key reasons people enjoy sex—with intimacy ranking highest.
The Surprising Top Choice
Contrary to stereotypes, “closeness/intimacy” topped the list, cited by 912 participants. Descriptions included feeling “lost in the moment” and “overwhelming closeness,” emphasizing emotional bonds over physical acts. One participant described sex as making “the world disappear—just the two of us.”
Beyond Orgasm
While “orgasm” ranked sixth, other highlights included:
- Specific sex acts (e.g., kissing, oral sex)
- Physical pleasure (“feels good”)
- Pleasing a partner
- Love and emotional connection
Men more frequently cited specific acts or fantasies, while women emphasized intimacy, trust, and post-sex bonding. Some women even linked sex to self-esteem or exercise benefits.
Unexpected Themes
Less common responses included “kink/pain,” “fantasy,” and “children/procreation” (11 participants). A handful of negative replies, like a 66-year-old woman calling sex a “marital chore,” contrasted with overwhelmingly positive feedback.
Why It Matters
The study highlights diverse sexual motivations, urging educators and therapists to broaden conversations about pleasure. As the researchers note, understanding these nuances can foster healthier, more fulfilling sexual experiences.
[Image: Infographic of top 10 reasons people enjoy sex]
Top 22 Reasons People Love Sex
- Closeness/intimacy
- Specific sex acts
- Feels good
- Pleasing partner
- Love/caring
- Orgasm
… (Full list condensed for brevity)
The study was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
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